alright don't shit yourself

youwishangelfish:

Imagine reading a book of every conversation where people have spoken about you.

16

May

105,648 notes

This text was reblogged from iwillmindfuckyou and originally by youwishangelfish.

theshirelock:

maybe i should do my homework

let’s consult david tennant

david tennant has spoken

13

May

40,414 notes

This text was reblogged from fuckyeahloldemort and originally by theshirelock.

you guys i opened a door to let the dogs out and a fucking spider ran across my foot inside and then i was screaming and my mom dropped a plastic bowl on it to not let it run away and then it fUCKING GAVE BIRTH ON THE FLOOR IN THE BOWL AND THEN WE WERE BOTH SCREAMING

WHAT DO I DO

ITS STILL IN THE BOWL AND ITS JUST HAVING MORE BABIES

FUCK

IT DROPPED MORE BABIES

MY DADS LIKE GASSING THEM WITH SPRAY AND ITS STILL GIVING BIRTH

YOU GUYS THOSE ARE ALL BABIES

FUCK MY LIFE

There is only one solution:

(Source: inlouhazthrusts)

13

May

199,686 notes

This text was reblogged from iwillmindfuckyou and originally by inlouhazthrusts.

i dont understand this show

(Source: fyeaharthurread)

13

May

20,594 notes

This photo was reblogged from emilaugh and originally by fyeaharthurread.

I hate my friends

lunaticphan:

So my driving instructor texted me, and I was walking so I just typed ‘Ok’ and hit send and then I looked at it and was like WHAT

But as it turns out, my friends are entirely responsible for turning ‘Ok’ into a shortcut. 

Cry

13

May

90,836 notes

This text was reblogged from sassyturnip and originally by lunaticphan.

setfiretothestreetz:

tragicalbeauty:

there-you-go-again:

just-a-love-letter-away:

That is so cool. It’s the sound waves of them saying I do. Holy crap.

just gonna reblog this every single time i see it

when i get married i wan

(Source: vintagestilettobrides)

13

May

317,044 notes

This photo was reblogged from saveitforthesinners and originally by vintagestilettobrides.

buttlicked:

You’re bad at grammar? *pats u on shoulder* their, they’re, there.

13

May

120,775 notes

This text was reblogged from coarl and originally by buttlicked.

sometimes when i drop something i’ll just stand there and groan until someone picks it up for me

(Source: sfux)

09

May

89,932 notes

This text was reblogged from fuckyeahloldemort and originally by sfux.

primisthebomb:

I THREW A GRAPE IN THE AIR TO CATCH IT IN MY MOUTH BUT IT WENT TOO HIGH AND HIT THE CEILING AND THERE WAS A SPIDER THERE AND THE SPIDER FELL AND SO DID THE GRAPE AND THEY BOTH LANDED ON MY FACE AND I STILL HAVEN’T STOPPED SCREAMING

09

May

173,268 notes

This text was reblogged from fuckyeahloldemort and originally by primisthebomb.

dialupmodem:

quick have sex with me i’ll explain later

09

May

116,926 notes

This text was reblogged from i-know-that-feel-bro and originally by dialupmodem.

me and dale

09

May

76,459 notes

This photo was reblogged from the-absolute-funniest-posts and originally by gifmovie.

carry-on-my-wayward-butt:

crispychocolate:

serkret:

god i hope my history teacher doesnt get extremely offended by this

we have to adapt a story to be about something weve been studying and read it to the class

my group is doing the very hungry hitler

 

OH MY GOD

so hitler took poland

but he was still hungry

(Source: massive-yaoi-hands)

09

May

90,519 notes

This text was reblogged from iwillmindfuckyou and originally by catpun.

(Source: caturday)

09

May

232,093 notes

This photo was reblogged from fuckyeahloldemort and originally by caturday.